Quite honestly Mrs P, I'm prettier than him, and so is Dr Maroon, while Kevin possesses a certain technique taught him by the Maya. So: why look any further?
Dear Gorilla, as you know I have nostalgie de boue proclivities. I shared a passenger pod with Charlie "Gorbals" Wilson at the London Eye inaugural event.
Inky, that cuts very little moutard with me. You may well be prettier - what do I know? - but, like most women, I am more interested in jewels, furs and mixed securities. And Maroon has let me down in the cruelest way (again) by being unreliable and easily led; not unlike a Nubian goat, who he resembles in other ways,too. Kevin's so-called Mayan technique is nothing more than overpronounced consonants: the postalveolar fricative that he uses has made him a laughing stock in Widnes.
That was thoroughly entertaining but where is his comb-over?
Isn't it marvelous what one can accomplish if you wasted 800 hours sorting through every bloody episode of the bloody Apprentice.
Mrs. Pouncer might I suggest that you also need a nice big clock, and then you should clutter your sidebar with a panoply of extemporaneous appurtenances as a testimony of your dedication to blogging... but then you need to shut down the Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter.
I find Sir Alan a delight in every possible way. No not that way - obviously. The best thing about him - he makes me laugh. Congrats on the linkage but tell me this: how in tarnation does one link on a comment? I'll bet Scarlet knows but will she split?
Embedding: Go to the youtube you want on your blog. To the right of the screen is the embedding code. Copy and paste this into the HTML screen of your blogger post. Youtube will ask you what colours you want your borders etc.. I always plump for red... so just tick the boxes you want before copying. Sx
Hello, Sav. Can I just say that I am sorry for saying mean things about Americans in my gorgeous missives from Antigua? It's just that en masse the Sandals clientele are de trop, to say the least. Now, then, what do I have in mind for Sir Alan? Well, my usual response is to say wined, dined and grind* from behind, but I respect him far too much as a person.
(*this is how we pronounce "ground" in the Thames Valley).
Mr Coppens, you are a tonic. In this country we only see comb-overs on superannuated sportspeople - of both genders - who are now relegated to the commentary box. Thus, the Charlton brothers, still estranged over their hideous old mother, artfully arrange what is left of their quiffs, as they fuck up on funny foreign names and advertise Sultana Bran. Mary Peters, Ulster's ugliest athlete, now has an ersatz bouffant like a bleached busby and Charlie George has been using one of those patented sprays. I have just re-read your comment with my spectacles on (I am a bit pissed) and see that you think I need a nice big clock. For a moment there, I thought you'd got my measure.
Pat, Sralan is one of the funniest men in the world, and not a bit belligerent, although not particularly friendly to journalists. In my view, he is at his best when being sneery to the young pretenders, especially those who promise to give one hundred and ten percent, and who describe themselves as hungreh and furcussed. In the last series they were set the task of buying some kosher food. The young estate agent who'd described himself as "half Jewish" (sic) said he thought "Halal would do". I wish there was a You Tube clip showing Sir A's face at that point, and his shout of L'Chaim as he fired him.
Scarly, you are right! Remember me with italics and boldings? That was Eroswings. But now I am confused. I thought it was Miss or Mrs Swings? Are you sure it is Mr? And yeah, ok, embeddings, but is that what I have done with Sir Alan hemhem? Or have I linked from You Tube? Will you email me, or shall we go out for lunch next week? Shall we? That would be nice, wouldn't it?
Kev, you give me the shivers. Have I mentioned Sidney Tafler to you before, even in passing? He is my dream date; I loved everything about him. In my view his finest hour was Goldberg in the Birthday Party - oh yeah, I have referenced this in the past; I remember now. Oh dear, I am getting dull. I'm a bit pissed; dreary dinner party. You can tell how boring - I was home before midnight, soberish. Bourne End; a load of bankers and weight-training wives. You know the sorta thing. I asked for a large stiff one on arrival and the other guests laughed nervously and and stared into their Oranginas.
Scarlet, what are you saying? There is no need to big up Kev. In fact, let's ask him: Kev, do you want bigging up? Your legs, if you don't mind me saying, put me in mind of a snapshot I once saw of Monty. He was reviewing the troops in some godforsaken dustbowl and had eschewed his siren suit in favour of some low-slung khakis. Do you wear a hairy Argyle pulled up to the knee? I can only hope you do.
Definitely Mr Swings! He's lovely. You have linked to Youtube... embedding is actually easier cos you don't have to do any coding. Yes, lunch next week would be very nice! Sx
D T Rave, charmant. Tres. Other men could learn a thing or two from you. Not content with one perfectly adorable comment, you hammer your point home with a swift follow-through. I know we have heard a lot about double-dipping in recent days, but this is something I can happily endorse. I stand here for your delectation - and yours only, DT - in Fichissima's finest (in shades of creme de menthe) and a Marios Schwab ostrich feather peignoir. In one hand, a stiff White Russian, and in the other a sparked-up Sobranie. This is how we spend Sunday evenings in the glorious Thames Valley. Boyo will confirm.
Scarlet, yes, yes. Mr Swings then. Lunch. Yes. I will E you. Cx
Seriously though, well done. You're a good writer. I hope you write more stuff about flowers and springtime and bunny rabbits and stuff soon, 'cos I like that.
Hello dearie. Dedicated as I am to public service I keep as much of myself covered up as possible so as not to upset the Watch Committee. If it doesn't rake up too much I'd like to hear more about the stage life. We still haven't had the diagrams.
Dear D (and can I just say that that letter has peculiar resonances for me hemhem) you are too kind. I splash entendres - both double and single - around like cream. You will get used to it. Hang on in there.
Kevin, I thought I'd emailed the diagrams to you? Oh, you mean those diagrams ...
Pat, Mr Swings is one of those rare human beings who is clever without being boastful. Let me know if you meet another.
Gaw, you have been swayed by Mr Coppens and his talk of combovers. I would prefer a man in a thoroughly-glued toupee TBH.
Daphers, I don't think I like the conjunction of "sorely" and "goat'. I don't know why. It just doesn't hang well for some reason.
Oh bloody hell!
ReplyDeleteShall we do embedding next?
Sx
A fine achievement... *cough*
ReplyDeletemy blog!
A bit of rough, eh, Mrs P? Would you be able to smooth out his edges?
ReplyDeleteQuite honestly Mrs P, I'm prettier than him, and so is Dr Maroon, while Kevin possesses a certain technique taught him by the Maya. So: why look any further?
ReplyDeleteAnd what, pray, is embedding, Scarla? I thought this was embedding. What's the difference between embedding and linking. Also, I want a ClusterMap.
ReplyDeleteBaz, you beaut. You hide your light under a rough-hewn bushel, but I have seen the underglow. I recognise you for who you are, hemhem.
Dear Gorilla, as you know I have nostalgie de boue proclivities. I shared a passenger pod with Charlie "Gorbals" Wilson at the London Eye inaugural event.
ReplyDeleteInky, that cuts very little moutard with me. You may well be prettier - what do I know? - but, like most women, I am more interested in jewels, furs and mixed securities. And Maroon has let me down in the cruelest way (again) by being unreliable and easily led; not unlike a Nubian goat, who he resembles in other ways,too. Kevin's so-called Mayan technique is nothing more than overpronounced consonants: the postalveolar fricative that he uses has made him a laughing stock in Widnes.
ReplyDeletebegs the question, sugar...in mind for what? xoxox
ReplyDeleteThat was thoroughly entertaining but where is his comb-over?
ReplyDeleteIsn't it marvelous what one can accomplish if you wasted 800 hours sorting through every bloody episode of the bloody Apprentice.
Mrs. Pouncer might I suggest that you also need a nice big clock, and then you should clutter your sidebar with a panoply of extemporaneous appurtenances as a testimony of your dedication to blogging...
but then you need to shut down the Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter.
I find Sir Alan a delight in every possible way. No not that way - obviously. The best thing about him - he makes me laugh.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the linkage but tell me this: how in tarnation does one link on a comment? I'll bet Scarlet knows but will she split?
The best person to explain everything, is Mr Swings!.
ReplyDelete.
Sx
Embedding: Go to the youtube you want on your blog. To the right of the screen is the embedding code. Copy and paste this into the HTML screen of your blogger post.
ReplyDeleteYoutube will ask you what colours you want your borders etc.. I always plump for red... so just tick the boxes you want before copying.
Sx
Sugar's a bore. Plain and simple, Pouncer. The man's got zero charisma.
ReplyDeleteI've always seen Alan Sugar as a rough-hewn Sidney Tafler. You can do better my girl: have you clocked that Dale Winton? He's more your speed.
ReplyDeleteInky talks out of turn about the Mayan Technique. He full well knows that there are places a gentleman does not want to find cocoa solids.
You have such nice legs, Kev.
ReplyDeleteSx
Hello, Sav. Can I just say that I am sorry for saying mean things about Americans in my gorgeous missives from Antigua? It's just that en masse the Sandals clientele are de trop, to say the least. Now, then, what do I have in mind for Sir Alan? Well, my usual response is to say wined, dined and grind* from behind, but I respect him far too much as a person.
ReplyDelete(*this is how we pronounce "ground" in the Thames Valley).
Mr Coppens, you are a tonic. In this country we only see comb-overs on superannuated sportspeople - of both genders - who are now relegated to the commentary box. Thus, the Charlton brothers, still estranged over their hideous old mother, artfully arrange what is left of their quiffs, as they fuck up on funny foreign names and advertise Sultana Bran. Mary Peters, Ulster's ugliest athlete, now has an ersatz bouffant like a bleached busby and Charlie George has been using one of those patented sprays. I have just re-read your comment with my spectacles on (I am a bit pissed) and see that you think I need a nice big clock. For a moment there, I thought you'd got my measure.
ReplyDeletePat, Sralan is one of the funniest men in the world, and not a bit belligerent, although not particularly friendly to journalists. In my view, he is at his best when being sneery to the young pretenders, especially those who promise to give one hundred and ten percent, and who describe themselves as hungreh and furcussed. In the last series they were set the task of buying some kosher food. The young estate agent who'd described himself as "half Jewish" (sic) said he thought "Halal would do". I wish there was a You Tube clip showing Sir A's face at that point, and his shout of L'Chaim as he fired him.
ReplyDeleteScarly, you are right! Remember me with italics and boldings? That was Eroswings. But now I am confused. I thought it was Miss or Mrs Swings? Are you sure it is Mr?
And yeah, ok, embeddings, but is that what I have done with Sir Alan hemhem? Or have I linked from You Tube? Will you email me, or shall we go out for lunch next week? Shall we? That would be nice, wouldn't it?
Emmy baybee, how is Sralan a bore? He is a big bellowing Kilburn kolboynik, and nothing could be nicer!
ReplyDeleteKev, you give me the shivers. Have I mentioned Sidney Tafler to you before, even in passing? He is my dream date; I loved everything about him. In my view his finest hour was Goldberg in the Birthday Party - oh yeah, I have referenced this in the past; I remember now. Oh dear, I am getting dull. I'm a bit pissed; dreary dinner party. You can tell how boring - I was home before midnight, soberish. Bourne End; a load of bankers and weight-training wives. You know the sorta thing. I asked for a large stiff one on arrival and the other guests laughed nervously and and stared into their Oranginas.
ReplyDeleteScarlet, what are you saying? There is no need to big up Kev. In fact, let's ask him: Kev, do you want bigging up? Your legs, if you don't mind me saying, put me in mind of a snapshot I once saw of Monty. He was reviewing the troops in some godforsaken dustbowl and had eschewed his siren suit in favour of some low-slung khakis. Do you wear a hairy Argyle pulled up to the knee? I can only hope you do.
ReplyDeleteCan't think of anything witty to say, Mrs P, but thanks for the link: it was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteAs some people might say, it was an hilarious link.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely Mr Swings! He's lovely.
ReplyDeleteYou have linked to Youtube... embedding is actually easier cos you don't have to do any coding.
Yes, lunch next week would be very nice!
Sx
D T Rave, charmant. Tres. Other men could learn a thing or two from you. Not content with one perfectly adorable comment, you hammer your point home with a swift follow-through. I know we have heard a lot about double-dipping in recent days, but this is something I can happily endorse. I stand here for your delectation - and yours only, DT - in Fichissima's finest (in shades of creme de menthe) and a Marios Schwab ostrich feather peignoir. In one hand, a stiff White Russian, and in the other a sparked-up Sobranie. This is how we spend Sunday evenings in the glorious Thames Valley. Boyo will confirm.
ReplyDeleteScarlet, yes, yes. Mr Swings then. Lunch. Yes. I will E you. Cx
Happy blog anniversary! Cheers!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Mrs P.
ReplyDeleteRoses are red,
Violets are blue,
It's your first blogging birfday
An' we luv you.
Seriously though, well done. You're a good writer. I hope you write more stuff about flowers and springtime and bunny rabbits and stuff soon, 'cos I like that.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your bloggy birthday!
ReplyDeleteI liked the giving birth post and the school stuff...
Sx
Mrs P, you naughty girl: I am quite overcome. And a delicious double entendre (I assume) in the stiff White Russian.
ReplyDeleteI would ask you to call me DT, but as you've already gone that far, feel free to call me D.
Hello dearie.
ReplyDeleteDedicated as I am to public service I keep as much of myself covered up as possible so as not to upset the Watch Committee.
If it doesn't rake up too much I'd like to hear more about the stage life. We still haven't had the diagrams.
Scarlet thanks for the tip re Mr Swings. Looks promising. I hate to boast but I can embed:)
ReplyDeleteI was sorely let down by a Nubian goat once.
ReplyDeleteWhy settle for Cliff Richard when you could have Elvis? Donald Trump is your man.
ReplyDeleteDear D (and can I just say that that letter has peculiar resonances for me hemhem) you are too kind. I splash entendres - both double and single - around like cream. You will get used to it. Hang on in there.
ReplyDeleteKevin, I thought I'd emailed the diagrams to you? Oh, you mean those diagrams ...
Pat, Mr Swings is one of those rare human beings who is clever without being boastful. Let me know if you meet another.
Gaw, you have been swayed by Mr Coppens and his talk of combovers. I would prefer a man in a thoroughly-glued toupee TBH.
Daphers, I don't think I like the conjunction of "sorely" and "goat'. I don't know why. It just doesn't hang well for some reason.
Im with you MrsP. There is something extraordinarily attractive about SirAlan :)
ReplyDeleteIt is rather disconcerting to have to type in upennes as my code verification!